Toddlers on a Plane

The fam just got back from a week long trip to our old stomping grounds in the Bay Area.  A few days before we left, we got confirmation that we were bringing the little lady.  I cannot believe the amount of work it takes to bring a toddler on vacation with you, from the clothes, to snacks, entertainment, logistics and more.

 

Helping me pack with her undies necklace.

Before we left, I scanned the Internet for any kind of tip to keep Charlotte from being a honey badger on the plane.   I asked friends and family who have recently traveled with their young child and got some really good advice.  There were lots of talks about chloroform, new toys from the dollar store and lots of snacks.  I honestly didn’t know what would happen, but I did know I wanted to be prepared for ANY situation and have a solution for it.

Welp, it turns out, true to form, all the things I did for her in advance, was not as interesting as the TV behind the seat in front of us and the Sky Mall catalog.  She did not want to sit still in my lap and color.  Instead she ate the crayon and threw the coloring book at a young gentleman sitting next to us.  She’s also VERY into knuckle bumps.  She tried to knuckle bump everyone. Even people who were sleeping.  It was almost like she picked the people in the plane who hate kids and she wanted to change their mind.  She’s kind of like a breed ambassador for toddlers.

I really hate when Charlotte plays with my phone, but in desperate times, I pull up the giggle gang app. (thank you fisher price)  She had my phone for a good portion of the trip.  

Toddlers are kind of like mental patients, and my toddler is like a drunken mental patient, with red bull running through her veins.

Here are my tips for traveling with said mental patient:

• Stay calm and relaxed.  If she picks up on your mood, she’ll be anxious and cranky.
• You don’t have to leave that much time before you get to the airport to make it through security. The TSA pretty much knows you have a ticking time bomb on your hands and wants you to get through quick.  I also think the male TSA workers are afraid of screaming babies.  If the baby crying doesn't work, just start crying.  They are also afraid of crying women.
• Under no circumstance wear a pair of pants you plan on wearing through out your trip to make your suitcase lighter.  You will have a raisin stuck to your fanny when you get up.
• Make sure to have a adult beverage before getting on the plane.  As soon as you get through security, go right to a bar.
• Do not let them look or touch a fountain.  EVER.
• We used a cheapy umbrella stroller, and I’d recommend spending a few extra bones for a better one.  But, not too expensive in case something happens to it.
• Board the plane at the last moment.  Less time sitting in that prison.
• Put that air blower thing on full blast to drown out her cries, and other people’s conversations.
• If you can, get a row of seats. That way she can’t harass the one stranger on the plane whose feverishly doing his expense report and is sitting next to you.
• Buy multiple Slinkies.  I mean a crap ton.  These SAVED us.  She played with those Slinkies the entire trip.  They sell them for a dollar at Target.
• 
• I found that most of the toys I got from the dollar store, just over stimulated her. It would have been better to just use the novelty of a new experience.
•  Someone told me to give her a lollipop during take off and landing.  Well, that was a mistake.  That sucker was on the floor in less than 30 seconds. Then I had sticky hands on my jeans. (Refer back to suggestion #3)
• Wear layers that can be easily removed or added.  You'll most likely have a small oven climbing in and out of your lap the whole flight.
• Do not apologize to anyone whose giving you dirty looks for having a drunk, mental patient with you.  She will knuckle bump them and use her cuteness to her advantage.
• Lastly, try to enjoy yourself.  It’s an amazing thing to watch someone experience things for the first time.

Overall, it was not as bad as I thought it would be.  It was mostly a test of my patience.  We had about 5 minutes of screaming, (which felt like 78 years) when Andy pinned her down so she would nap. After this trip, I now know that I can do anything.  Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

San Francisco!

Our trip back to California was an amazing time.  It was so, so nice to see all of my old friends and meet many of their babies! Our hosts in Palo Alto, Elisabeth and Alex, really went above and beyond to make us feel comfortable.  Elisabeth and I have a really great friendship.  She's easy going, tell it like it is, creative, loving, and so kind.  When I saw her, it was as if no time had passed since she came to visit back in November. Elisabeth and I hit up the SF farmer's market in the Ferry Building.  It's one of my favorite things to do.  All the fresh fruits and veggies, baked goodies, and delicious coffee from Blue Bottle.

 

Meghan's lady Eleanor, her and Charlotte could be sisters.

On Sunday, Elisabeth took me to Capitola, where she used to work.  We went to her fav breakfast area, and trucked down to the beach.  There is nothing quite like being at the ocean.

We took C on a small hike to walk off breakfast. She killed it.  She was keeping up with us as long as we held her hand.

We headed up to San Francisco that evening.  We stayed at the Sir Francis Drake.  They have an awesome wine hour (?) from 4 to 5 where they serve quality wines, for free.  They have a ton of toys for kids to play with while Mom and Dad booze it up.  This is an amazing combo.

 

 

So much good food, so little time.

We finished up the trip in Santa Rosa. (part of wine country) I absolutely LOVED it there.  We stuck to the Dry Creek and Russian River Valley wines.  Holy crap these were good and very affordable.  We hit up Russian River Brewery for some Pliney the Elder, which Andy put in the stroller and locked her in tight.

  

It felt amazing to be back in the Bay. I felt like we had come home. I miss so much about our life there, and it was great to be reminded of how much of an impact it had on us.  I can not wait to go back again!